Feedback Thoughts

Receiving feedback is something that I have always struggled with and taken too way personally, so I was excited to read these articles and see what nuggets of truth and advice they provided. I found interesting suggestions and tips in each one!

Getting Feedback...
The first article I read called Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head was one that greatly resonated with me and was extremely relatable in my life. I often have trouble listening to any positive feedback because I focus so obssessively on the negative, no matter how much the positive may outweigh the negative. I even obsess over negative comments from over 10 years ago. I often dismiss positive compliments as "luck" or "nothing big" instead of accepting them as the form of encouragement they are meant to be. I really liked the idea in this article to practice a five-to-one ratio of positive and negative comments because I would say that right now, that ratio is completely reversed for me,  often leaving me anxious and uncomfortable with how I believe others perceive me. This is certainly not a healthy or maintaible mindset and I would very much like to change it for my own well-being and also that of others.  Certainly something for me to keep in mind!

The second article Using Harsh Feeback to Fuel Your Career was also engaging to me because of the premise of using harsh and negative feedback to further and better your goals and overall self. As the author writes, we have all experienced some sort of failure or embarrassment that pushed us to overcome and be better than we were before. For me, that was during my college musical theatre auditions all over the country where some of them went very well and some of them were absolutely abysmal. Because not everyone felt defeated after each audition, I often found that I couldn't express how I was feeling because I was embarrassed, but the article's first step of embracing emotions really stood out to me because of this. It's okay to feel a certain way after failure, but it must not become consuming or a definition of oneself. I learned instead to treat myself to a single-dip cone of Cappucino Chunky Chocolate ice cream after each audition so that I would have something to look forward to while allowing myself to feel the emotions. I really enjoyed reading this article!

(Feedback from Pixabay)

Giving Feedback...
In Presence, Not Praise: How To Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Achievement, I really appreciated the stance that the author takes (even referencing Carol Dweck) in the harm the praising children for things they ought to be able to do. I agree that it can teach a mindset of complacency and laziness, only doing the bare minimum to get by, when a child is praising for average completion of tasks other children do as well. I liked the idea of praising hard work, dedication, and eagerness to learn are qualities that set a child apart and when praised, will motivate one to work even harder.  I also liked the author's reference to Charlotte Mueller's interaction with a four-year-old boy who was drawing and she was simply present with him, listening and observing, while he painted. She commented on how much blue there was in the picture, rather than saying it was wonderful, and it spurred him to tell her about the inspiration for the painting being his grandmother's house. These type of interactions and feedback seem truly productive and inspiring, rather than complimenting people on things that everyone is expected to do. This article brought up really good points!

The final article that I read, Be a Mirror: Give Readers Feedback That Fosters a Growth Mindset,  made several excellent points about the growth mindset and how it is encouraged by "being a mirror": reflecting exactly what is present instead of focusing on what could be there or what could be done to improve. Something that really sparked my eye was the idea of taking "myself", the critique, out of the statement because it often implies that the work was done to please the reader, viewer, or teacher. I often find myself mentioning things that I enjoyed or that I related to in comments, when in reality, I should never be mentioning myself in the feedback if it is truly about the work presented. While it is sometimes relevant to add "I loved it!" or "My favorite part was when...", my new goal for feedback this semester after reading this article is to entirely focus on the creator and the work presented and leave myself out of it for the most part. This really spoke to me and was an excellent read!