SNAKE
Please, oh my lord, allow me to hide! An enemy with a stick is pursuing me! He wants to kill me!
NOBLEMAN
Oh yes, kind friend, conceal yourself in my shirt sleeve. No enemy will reach you there, for I will protect you!
[Just then, a devious looking man holding a sharp stick ran towards the nobleman and his horse. The nobleman double-checked his sleeve to make sure the snake was still hidden.]
MAN
You haven't by any chance seen a sneaky snake slithering around here, have you? I have been searching everywhere for him because he bit my dog and the poison killed him!
NOBLEMAN
No, sir, I have not seen a snake around here and I cannot be of assistance to you! I wish you all the best!
[The nobleman's horse stamped its hoof at hearing the nobleman's false words, for the horse did not trust the snake, but he quickly placed a hand on the horse's back to calm it. The man was not quite convinced and searched around the field anyway, but alas, could not see the snake hidden in the sleeve. The man then went his own way in search of the snake elsewhere and the nobleman sighed with relief, letting the snake out of his sleeve.]
NOBLEMAN
Your enemy has gone and you should also be on your way, kind friend.
SNAKE
I have deceived you! You are quite ignorant to believe that a snake could be your kind friend, for you see, I have already bitten you and poisoned you.
[The nobleman suddenly felt a sharp pain and he glanced down at his right forearm to see that the snake had indeed bitten him, though he was just now beginning to feel the effects. His bite wounds began to leak blood and poison and the nobleman fell to his knees in agony.]
NOBLEMAN
How could you do this to me? I helped you and hid you from your enemy, you fiend!
SNAKE
Ah, but it is as they say, 'it is not right to do good to every person'. So when I smelled your human scent and had the urge to bite you, I did!
[The nobleman shook his head in denial and pain as the snake chuckled to himself, watching the nobleman become weaker and weaker with the pain. The snake then turned to slither away but before he could leave, the angry horse came to the nobleman's defense. He leapt forward and smashed the snake's head into the ground, instantly killing it.]
NOBLEMAN
My dear horse, my sweet friend, thank you. You have avenged me and I can now die in peace knowing that I had the greatest horse that ever lived. Thank you for being my dearest companion.
[The nobleman sighed as the poison overtook his body and he took his last breath. The horse cried out in sorrow, knelt by the nobleman's side, and stayed with him through the night. When the rays of the morning sun awakened the horse, he galloped to the nearby town and urged several men he encountered on the street to follow him to the field where the nobleman's body lay. They too cried out when they saw the tragic scene and carried his corpse back into town to prepare him for a proper burial. While it was the saddest day the horse had ever experienced, he knew he had done the right thing and was glad to let his master rest in peace with.]
Author's Note:
I decided to try something creative with experimenting with a new storytelling style for this week's tale. I wanted to write it in a script style because I have not written a script since high school, but have always enjoyed doing it. I noticed that I was not able to include as much detail as I normally like to, making my story shorter than it usually is, but I was challenged in a different way of keeping the story flowing at a quicker pace. I ended up writing it as if it were a children's play, even if the content was a little dark for that. I kept the original premise of the story the same with a nobleman who hid a snake in his sleeve, but instead of the nobleman managing to kill the snake, I turned the tables and caused the nobleman to be bitten and poisoned after all. I wanted to expand on how evil and deceiving the snake was, but I did not want the snake to get away with it. So I created a bigger character in the nobleman's horse, who avenged his death by killing the snake and then warned the townsfolk of what had happened so that they would not just leave the nobleman's body in the field. He deserved a proper burial and peaceful ending, even if it was a little dark and sad. I was challenged by writing in this style, but I had a lot of fun!
Bibliography: Tales of a Parrot, an early 19th century English version of the Tutinameh and an adaptation of an earlier book written in Sanskrit
I liked this a lot! It's cool that you decided to use screenplay style. It drew more attention to the dialogue, which I think was the strongest element of the story. The parts with directions/narration were good too. I think in most screenplays, the directions are usually in present tense, so if you end up editing this piece or doing another screenplay-style story, you might consider that. You really should consider writing another screenplay, because the format seems to really work for you!
ReplyDeleteI'd never thought about the different challenges involved in writing a story in a style like this. It does significantly limit how much detail you can fit into the story while still maintaining the pace you want. That said, you definitely did a fantastic job maintaining that pace. I think it would make a good children's story similar to the Brother's Grimm stories that are quite a bit darker than normal.
ReplyDeleteThis just makes me mad. The guy helped out the snake without a second thought and what did the snake do. He bit him and poisoned him without any remorse. I am glad that the horse was able to kill the snake before he could do anymore damage to any other people. No one deserves that and honestly this is why people do not trust anymore.
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